Best of the Decade: Volume 2

Back again, and ready to list so hard your metacarpals fall off. It's that kind of day. Moving right along then, we'll continue the best films of the decade. Today: #30-21.

30. A History of Violence (2005)
-directed by David Cronenberg
I love this movie because viewers can get exactly as much out of it as they like. If you want a standard action-thriller, you've got it. If you want a familial drama that explores the passed-on similarities between parents and posterity, you've got it. If you want an intellectual piece about man as animal, and the prevalence of violence in society, you've got it. This film offers an abyss of thought, but never foists it on the viewer. In other words, if you feel like interpreting things ad infinitum, this movie works great. If you'd like to watch Viggo Mortensen break several noses, the movie's great for that as well. It's rare that a film like this comes along; one that seamlessly merges stereotypical action violence with stronger thematic undertones. Director David Cronenberg's trademark, however, is doing just that. Watch for a brilliant turn by William Hurt: he enters the film at the very end, and only for about ten minutes, but he leaves an unforgettable mark on the film.

29. Collateral (2004)
-directed by Michael Mann
Here's another film that plays in the intersection of art and commerce. On the surface, Collateral is a fast-paced action film, involving hit-men, car chases, and gun-fights on the elevated train. All this is just fine, but alone, it wouldn't be enough to get the movie on this particular list. Director Michael Mann takes the material and elevates it with style, substance and great performances. Special mention must go to Tom Cruise: though I can't say I'm a fan of his, Collateral, like Magnolia and Born on the Fourth of July, show Cruise to be an actor of subtlety, range, and unplumbed depth. His Vincent, a world-weary hit man with a knack for words, is a great creation. Jamie Foxx and Jada Pinkett-Smith are more than up to the task of matching him, however, and both give finely tuned performances. Mann's signature directorial style is easily evident here, as he returns to the crime world in LA after so memorably capturing it in Heat. The film's script is witty and literate; the monologue about Santa Claus and his ugly, unloved brother, Black Peter, is a wonderful highlight.

28. The Virgin Suicides (2000)
-directed by Sophia Coppola
Let me just get this out there: I love Sophia Coppola. I love her writing, which is poetic without being stilted. I love her style, Which is fluid, surreal, almost dream-like, while taking place in seemingly mundane environments. I even love her employment of indie bands for soundtracking, even if it launched the heinous 'Nick and Nora'-style movies that we get now. She's only made three movies, but two of them will appear on this list, and the other easily could have as well. The Virgin Suicides is Coppola's most lyrical piece; she errs toward poetry and visual beauty more often than not, and it's never more evident than in this adaptation of the already poetic and dreamlike novel by Jeffrey Eugedenides. This film eloquently and touchingly captures a snapshot of youth, both before and after the loss of innocence. The Virgin Suicides evokes, perhaps, a warm summer, a chat by the fire, a night with a lover: things that are beautiful and cherished, but disappear all too easily. More than any other director working today, Sophia Coppola paints with tones and moods more than with words or images, and her films are great because of it.

27. Sunshine (2007)
-directed by Danny Boyle
I'll be the first to say it: Sunshine isn't perfect. I'm not the biggest fan of the last fifteen to twenty minutes; I'll admit the film very nearly loses itself before finding redemption in the last two shots. What comes before that, however, is so accomplished, so memorable, so balls-out brave, that I'm willing to forgive the film its mis-steps. Sunshine is valiant stab at achieving 'hard' science fiction, aka science fiction with an emphasis on science rather than fiction. Danny Boyle seems to be channeling Kubrick in the film's early passages, which build up a slow, creeping sense of unease that burns under the film like a persistent itch. The design of the film is absolutely spectacular: made for a fraction of the budgets of larger sci-fi films, Sunshine looks much, much better and far more realistic. The Icharus 2 is one of recent cinema's most memorable set-pieces. To the fantastic sense of pacing, eye for style, and beautiful designs, the film adds an accomplished ensemble: Cillian Murphy, Cliff Curtis, Rose Byrne, Michelle Yeoh, Chris Evans, Troy Garity, Benedict Wong, and Hiroyuki Sanada create a perfect machine of believability. Rarely does one find such a fleshed-out, developed cast. As if all this weren't enough, Boyle and screen-writer Alex Garland play with the idea of what happens when you find and converse with God.

26. No Country For Old Men (2007)
-directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
This is easily one of the most technically proficient, classically well-made films in recent memory. Everything in this film approaches perfection: the pacing is almost unbearable, and I mean that in the best way. Suspense builds and builds and builds, pay-offs come fast and unbidden, and then the slow, steady building of tension starts again. This film hits you like the ocean: slowly building, moving faster and faster until you're slapped by a wall of water, and then as quickly as it came, it's gone again, and there's nothing you can do but wait for the next wave. The performances are exercises in brilliance: Javier Bardem, as Anton Chigurgh, the angel of death, gathers most of the laurels, but it's hard to ignore Josh Brolin, Kelly MacDonald, and Woody Harrelson acting for all they're worth. The script is filled with moments of cold, stark beauty that pierce like wind on a winter day. So why isn't this one higher on the list? I don't know. If this were a list of greats, it'd be near the top. I suppose my only complaint about No Country For Old Men is it doesn't quite stir the emotion in me that the other films on this list do. Not that this film doesn't stir any emotion: I'm just saying that what the films higher on this list do to me mean more than the technical perfection of this one.

25. Minority Report (2002)
-directed by Steven Spielberg
Say what you like about Spielberg: some people complain, saying he's too mainstream, too sentimental, too commercial. Well, yes: Spielberg is mainstream, commercial, and sentimental. He's also created some of the most iconic films in memory. I've always been one to prefer Spielberg's more 'out there' attempts to his Big, Serious Dramas. In other words, I'll take Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T., and Raiders of the Lost Ark any day over Schindler's List. Minority Report tiptoes the line between the two kinds of Spielberg: yes, the film is quite serious, but in a rather goofy sci-fi sense of the word. I mean 'goofy' with the best possible connotations: I love this film. I love the performances (even Tom Cruise), I love the gorgeous futuristic design, I love the impressionistic cinematography of modern-day demigod Janusz Kaminski. I love the film as a treatise on free will. And, God help me, I love the moments of levity, of which there are many. This film is commercial, mainstream, and sentimental, but it's also flat-out dazzling.

24. Adaptation (2002)
-directed by Spike Jonze
Charlie Kaufman. What can I say about Charlie Kaufman? In short: he's the most inventive writer working today. Most people will hold up Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind as the peak of his creativity, but I prefer his other films; specifically, this one, the film in which, for whatever reason, he writes himself into the story. More than that, he writes his own story: attempting to adapt The Orchid Thief. He dramatizes this while dramatizing the book itself, and then throwing good taste out the window to make the kind of ending that he himself promises in the movie that he'll never write. It's crazy, meta fun at its absolute best. Toss in Nicholas Cage, who here proves that he's a fantastic actor when he wants to be, Chris Cooper, being both incredibly compelling and completely insane, and Meryl Streep as a journalist turned drug-runner, and you've got something completely and utterly unique. This is undoubtedly one of the best screenplays of the decade, but it's also one of the best films.

23. Undertow (2004)
-directed by David Gordon Green
Before he was making stoner comedies like Pineapple Express, David Gordon Green was a real film-maker. Not just a film-maker: an artist. In Undertow, Green reaches the zenith of his creative talent, bringing a perfect storm of story, actors, and style to create a film unlike any other. Green's style is often described as 'Southern Gothic,' but I prefer Southern Surrealism, in that his films take place in the deep south, and watching them feels like walking through a dream. On the surface, Undertow is a chase movie about a pair of adolescents running from their blood-crazed uncle. To give a plot description, however, is to undersell the quiet, haunting nature of this little film. It's jam-packed with little moments of surreal beauty and oddness; very few films can get away with a long, involved monologue about chigger bites without seeming stupid. Undertow does it in spades.

22. Munich (2005)
-directed by Steven Spielberg
Munich is a bit of a Spielberg rarity in that it doesn't fit comfortably into either of his accepted personas: it's certainly not goofy or fun-filled, but it doesn't quite gel with his accepted dramatic style. Munich is a large, angry movie with lots of questions, but no answers. The plot recounts the events following the murder of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics; namely, a 'counter-terrorism' unit whose principle goal is to eliminate enemies of Israel through bombs, murder, and other forms of subterfuge. Munich adroitly displays a never-ending cycle of violence, but has no easy answers for how to stop it. To augment the film's intellectual maturity, Spielberg brings the full brunt of his film-making experience, crafting a taut, engrossing thriller that never feels like its beating you over the head with its message.

21. 28 Days Later (2003)
-directed by Danny Boyle
Danny Boyle is one of the most visually interesting directors at work, and what strikes me most about 28 Days Later are the visuals. Has there ever been a more effective prologue than Cillian Murphy's long, solitary walk through a deserted London? The images Boyle captures are beautifully evocative: a taxi weaving through a city of the dead, a city on fire, framed by wind turbines, a rain-soaked castle filled with soldiers and women in red dresses. What's all the more impressive is that all this beauty comes in the midst of a graphically violent zombie movie. Boyle effortlessly meshes his more lyrical interludes with truly horrific encounters with the recently un-deceased. Throw in musing on the state of mankind (best exemplified during the final dinner, in which Christopher Eccleston's character says that all he sees is people killing people), and you've got something special, something far more worthwhile than Slumdog Millionaire, Boyle's best-known film.


I'll keep cranking these out later, then. Twenty more to go, and I figure, just for funsies, I'll do a decade-wide Oscar ballot, which is to say, my picks for the five best in every category this decade. Will the fun never end?

81 Years of Oscar: Best Picture Winners

Hello all. So, the 82nd Academy Awards are less than a month away. This means that I'm probably thinking about Oscar more often than not. In an attempt to spread my love of these dubious awards of quality, as well as provide a crash-course in film history, I'll be spending the next month doing something of an Oscar Retrospective. Today, for your viewing pleasure, I'll be profiling the ten best and five worst picture winners (in my opinion, of course). Following, because I can, is a list of the Best Picture winners to refresh your memory. In bold are the films that I've seen.
(And I know you didn't ask, but this list is from memory. Because I'm that good.)
Slumdog Millionaire
No Country For Old Men
The Departed
Crash
Million Dollar Baby
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Chicago
A Beautiful Mind
Gladiator
American Beauty
Shakespeare in Love
Titanic
The English Patient
Braveheart
Forrest Gump
Schindler's List
Unforgiven
The Silence of the Lambs
Dances With Wolves
Driving Miss Daisy
Rain Man
The Last Emperor
Platoon
Out of Africa
Amadeus
Terms of Endearment
Gandhi
Chariots of Fire
Ordinary People
Kramer Vs. Kramer
The Deer Hunter
Annie Hall
Rocky
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Godfather Part 2
The Sting
The Godfather
The French Connection
Patton
Midnight Cowboy
Oliver!
In the Heat of the Night
A Man For All Seasons
The Sound of Music
My Fair Lady
Tom Jones
Lawrence of Arabia
West Side Story
The Apartment
Ben-hur
Gigi
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Marty
On the Waterfront
From Here to Eternity
The Greatest Show on Earth
An American in Paris
All About Eve
All the King's Men
Hamlet
Gentlemen's Agreement
The Best Years of Our Lives
The Lost Weekend
Going My Way
Casablanca
Mrs. Miniver
How Green Was My Valley
Rebecca
Gone With the Wind
You Can't Take it With You
The Life of Emile Zola
The Great Zeigfeld
Mutiny on the Bounty
It Happened One Night
Cavalcade
Grand Hotel
Cimmaron
All Quiet on the Western Front
The Broadway Melody
Wings

As you've surely deciphered by now, these lists will be highly subjective, as I've only seen about half of these. They will also obviously skew toward more modern fare, as the half I've seen errs toward the present (my viewing is particularly shabby in the 40s, which begins with All the King's Men and ends with Rebecca; I've only seen one). Also bear in mind that this is more my list of favorites than anything else: I'm not going with the boldest decisions, or the most atypical; I'm going with the ones I like the best. We can debate greatness another time.

The Best
10. Titanic (1997. Other nominees: As Good as it Gets, The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, LA Confidential)
I'll start with the most controversial choice right now so we can get it out of our hair. No, Titanic is not a great film. No, James Cameron is not an inspired auteur. What Titanic accomplishes, however, is pure cinema. Cameron lays his hand on the same lightning rod that Selznick, Cooper, and Fields all found to create old-fashioned, decidedly epic film. This is the one bone that escapism gets on my list: Titanic isn't concerned with being overly thought-provoking, or introducing new ideas. No, the film is slavishly devoted to delivering an experience, and it doesn't fail on those terms.

9. Shakespeare in Love (1998. Other Nominees: Elizabeth, Life is Beautiful, Saving Private Ryan, The Thin Red Line)
It might not be the best of the nominees, and it sure as hell caught crap for defeating Steven Spielberg's WW2 epic, but something about this little romance grips me in a way, I suspect, it gripped Academy voters. John Madden's only film of interest, Shakespeare in Love is a pitch-perfect combo of humor, intrigue, and emotional honesty. The film's effect is no doubt increased through the charismatic turns of Gwyneth Platrow, Joseph Fiennes, Judi Dench, and Geoffrey Rush, and the score remains one of the most by-turns whimsical and melancholy pieces of music written for film in recent years. Shakespeare in Love may feel like a light-weight, but it's got one hell of a punch.

8. No Country For Old Men (2007. Other nominees: Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, There Will Be Blood)
I'm honestly still confused about how this film walked away with the big prize. Sure, it was unanimously acclaimed, and is a staggering piece of work, but it's so...dark. Nihilistic. Graphic. The Academy normally loves something safe, warm, and mildly inspiring. No Country For Old Men is none of these things. I'm glad the Academy decided to head way out on a limb and reward a film outside their comfort zone. No Country For Old Men is easily one of the best films of the new millennium. As this is a favorite, not greatest, list, however, it's relegated to the 8th spot.

7. The Departed (2006. Other nominees: Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen)
Here's another atypical work. I can understand how The Departed won, however: though gritty and profane, it plays safely within an Oscar-loved genre (the gangster picture), and was helmed by modern directing legend Martin Scorcese. To try and understand the politics, however, is to undersell Scorcese's best film since GoodFellas. The Departed is vibrant, tense, and altogether thrilling, anchored by stellar performances from its youthful leads: Leonardo Dicaprio, Matt Damon, and Vera Farmiga. Add an outstanding ensemble (Jack Nicholson, Ray Winstone, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, so on and so forth), and the editing genius of Thelma Schoonmaker, and you have a completely unique, fantastic film.

6. It Happened One Night (1934. Other nominees: Cleopatra, Flirtation Walk, Here Comes the Navy, Imitation of Life, One Night of Love, The Barretts of Wimpole Street, The Gay Divorcee, The House of Rothchild, The Thin Man, The White Parade, Viva Villa)
Admittedly, I've hardly even heard of any of the other nominees, much less seen them, so I can't intelligently comment on the worthiness of It Happened One Night as compared to its fellow nominees. What I can do is attempt to share the 100 CCs of joy that were injected straight into my veins whilst watching this film. The original cliche, It Happened One Night is arguably the first romantic comedy. It is also, arguably, the best. Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable practically invented the concept of screen chemistry while filming, and the script, despite being 76 years old, never fails to feel timelessly modern.

5. The Godfather (1972. Other nominees: Cabaret, Deliverance, Sounder, Utvandrarna)
If we were listing the greatest Picture winners, The Godfather would be even higher on the list. Francis Ford Coppola's signature piece is still the crowning achievement of cinema in the 70s; the world of Don Corleone is incredibly complicated, vividly realized, and endlessly engrossing. Containing one of the most indelible screen performances (Marlon Brando, of course), some of the most shocking screen violence seen in its time, and one of the most memorable endings in film history, The Godfather is richly deserving of all the accolades it receives.

4. Amadeus (1984. Other nominees: The Killing Fields, A Passage to India, Places in the Heart, A Soldier's Story)
I might be a little biased here. I love Mozart. Needless to say, a film concerned entirely with the life and death of the famous composer is bound to play my heartstrings (pun intended) quite a bit. That doesn't change the fact that the film is amazing. Milos Forman breathes joyous life into the dull, dusty public image of Mozart, warping him into a foppish, ridiculous young man for whom genius isn't a burden so much as an amusing inconvenience. F. Murray Abraham, as his rival Salieri, provides the perfect ballast to Mozart's raucous vivacity: Salieri acts as if every moment is an exercise in tragic dignity. The performances, as well as the film itself, pulse with an unrestrained joy of a kind seldom seen in theaters.

3. The Silence of the Lambs (1991. Other nominees: Beauty and the Beast, Bugsy, JFK, The Prince of Tides)
The Silence of the Lambs is not the Academy's cup of tea: it remains the only horror film to win the big award (indeed, one of only two nominees for the genre). The Academy found the film impossible to ignore, however, and with good reason. Containing what might be the most electric leading couple to grace the silver screen (Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins), as well as one of the most intelligent, surgically horrific screenplay in recent memory, Lambs proves a difficult film to shake. After rewarding this film, the Academy, in its infinite wisdom, would spend most of the 90s rewarding large, inspirational, contrived films.

2. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930. Other nominees: The Big House, Disraeli, The Divorcee, The Love Parade)
Needless to say, I haven't seen any of the other nominees. Doesn't matter. All Quiet on the Western Front is, arguably, the only true anti-war film ever made (at least to play within the war genre), and, as such, is also, arguably, the greatest war film ever made. The movie juxtaposes lengthy sections of waiting, wondering, and worrying with spans of almost sadistic battle scenes. All Quiet...allows us to become attached to a classroom full of impressionable young men, then forces us to watch as it horrifically maims and murders them. This film is one of the most pessimistic and cynical of any I've seen: completely fitting, given its subject matter.

1. American Beauty (1999. Other nominees: The Cider House Rules, The Green Mile, The Insider, The Sixth Sense)
I debated for a while about whether or not my longtime favorite should cede this spot to All Quiet on the Western Front, but, in the end, I had to vote with my heart. And, as stated before, this is a list of favorites. I honestly don't know what else to write about this movie that I haven't written recently. Suffice to say it's got a lot of heart, and hits a lot of people, including me, in all the right places. Thank God the Oscar didn't go to The Cider House Rules.


Now, a tougher list. The five worst. No, let me rephrase that: these aren't the five worst films. They're the five that disappointed me the most. The five that let me down. The five that should have become close friends, but ended up stabbing me in the back. I highly doubt these would find themselves in a Five Worst list had I seen all the winners. See, I tend to avoid films that I hear are terrible, and, as such, have avoided the worst best picture winners.

5. Crash (2005. Other nominees: Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, Munich)
Crash is a skillful manipulator, but little more. I'll admit that there good acting lurks around the edges (particularly Matt Dillon, Michael Pena, and Don Cheadle), and the film contains some truly affecting moments. When viewed with an objective eye, however, Crash can't escape the creakiness of its own screenplay, which relies on contrived coincidence.

4. Braveheart (1995. Other nominees: Apollo 13, Babe, The Postman, Sense and Sensibility)
Braveheart is very big, and very pretty, and somewhat inspirational. It's also incredibly sophomoric, filled with toilet humor and homophobia, and is helmed by a painfully ham-handed director. Braveheart is enjoyable enough. But a good film? Please. Like I said: pretty, exciting, big. Also crude, intolerant, and stupid. And not inventive enough to be forgiven for any of its sins.

3. Terms of Endearment (1983. Other nominees: The Big Chill, The Dresser, The Right Stuff, Tender Mercies)
This movie plays like a daytime soap opera. We have star-crossed lovers, worrying mothers, terminal illness, cute kids, and every other Movie-of-the-Week cliche worth its salt. None of elements every congeal into anything compelling, however, despite the noble efforts of Debra Winger and Shirley Maclaine. Jack Nicholson does nothing to help, either: his normal 'Crazy Jack' schtick feels grotesquely out of place.

2. Forrest Gump (1994. Other nominees: Four Weddings and A Funeral, Pulp Fiction, Quiz Show, The Shawshank Redemption)
I know I'm going to catch some heat for this, as most if not all of my regular reader love this movie, but I'm going there anyway. Forrest Gump is the Academy at its most conservative. The film itself is safe, conservative, almost condescending. I know I'm a pretentious film dick, but I tend to prefer new, or original, or daring in some way. Forrest Gump is as safe as it gets. I'm not saying it's a terrible film. It's just the kind of movie I'll never enjoy.

1. A Beautiful Mind (2001. Other nominees: Gosford Park, In the Bedroom, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Moulin Rouge!)
I will say that this one is a terrible film, though. Director Ron Howard is the master of faux-inspirational, historical garbage, and this is the creative nadir of his not-so-illustrious career. The fact that this film won is downright offensive. A Beautiful Mind's success is the best proof that sometimes, the Academy just doesn't care about quality.


Well, there you have it. Sorry, long post. I know. I got carried away. If anyone's still reading, what do you think? Am I being too hard on some films, and too easy on others? Willing to show me how wrong I am about Forrest Gump? I'll never learn if someone doesn't try to teach me.

A Decade of Oscar Winners: A Retrospective

This week, critics circles, guilds, and one group of drunken journalists all announce their nominees for various end-of-the-year awards. Suffice to say that, by Friday, we'll have a fairly clear picture of the Oscar race. I'll run a piece on that later this week, but for now, I'd like to just look back at the Academy. And how often they screw things up. Seriously. Rarely does Best Picture go to the actual best film of the year. Too often, the process becomes mired in politics, playing nice, buying votes, and scheduling woes. Which isn't to say that good movies can't win, of course. I'm just saying that the best films often don't. So, for your viewing pleasure, here are the best picture winners of the decade, along with the other nominees they built. I'll whine for a little about them (or compliment them, you never know), then offer up my own nominee slate. Fun times! 2008: Slumdog Millionaire Other nominees: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader I'll be honest; none of these nominees get me too excited. Slumdog is definitely the best among them (though The Reader has some great moments, and, admittedly, I liked Benjamin Button), but that's not saying a whole lot. Slumdog won because it was exactly what our country needed at the time: something fast, loud, and oozing optimism. It perfectly tapped into the zeitgeist surrounding Obama's election. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's a perfectly competent film. There just happened to be a bevy of other, more challenging, more advanced films for consumption. My nominees, in order of preference: 1. Waltz With Bashir 2. Synecdoche, New York 3. WALL-E 4. Let the Right One In 5. In Bruges 2007: No Country For Old Men Other Nominees: Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, There Will Be Blood How fantastic: We're only two years in, and I can't find anything to complain about! 2007 was one of the best years for film in recent memory; it would have been almost impossible to not nominate five great films, and any of the nominees could be a worthy champion in any other year. Essentially, 2007 was awesome. Nothing more so than No Country For Old Men; a film that showed the Coens at the absolute top of their game. Adroitly paced, almost unbearably taut, lean, and full of dark, cynical insight, No Country wasn't just the best of the year: it's one of the best winners of the decade. And I can't even complain about the other nominees. All of them are of the honor. My nominees: 1. No Country For Old Men 2. Sunshine 3. There Will Be Blood 4. Away From Her 5. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford 2006: The Departed Other Nominees: Babel, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen This is tough: I can't say I agree that The Departed was the best film of the year, but it sure came close. It's certainly the best of the nominated films (though all of those, with the exception of Babel, carry my complete and total approval). Indeed, it's hard to deny the energy and forward motion of The Departed. Plus, it's Martin Frigging Scorsese. The Departed is a fantastic entry into the Academy Canon. My Nominees: 1. Children of Men 2. The Departed 3. Pan's Labyrinth 4. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints 5. Letters From Iwo Jima 2005: Crash Other Nominees: Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Goodnight and Good Luck, Munich Ahhh. Crash. Crash. This. Was. A. Travesty. I'm not saying that Crash doesn't have powerful moments, and I'm not saying that Crash isn't a very skillful manipulator. But that's just it: the movie is great at manipulating the viewer into thinking they're seeing something good, when what they're actually seeing is ham-fisted, obvious, and subtle as a sledgehammer. How it won out over ANY of the other nominees (all fantastic films) as well as other not-nominated greats is almost unfathomable. But especially winning over Brokeback Mountain or, to a lesser degree, Munich. Both are modern masterpieces, and are many heads and shoulders above Crash. The Academy certainly dropped the ball on this one. My Nominees: 1. Brokeback Mountain 2. Munich 3. A History of Violence 4. Capote 5. Junebug 2004: Million Dollar Baby Other Nominees: The Aviator, Finding Neverland, Ray, Sideways Here's another year where the slew of nominees did nothing for me. It's once again the case that the winner is the best of those offered, but it's not a hard accomplishment. The Aviator was technically proficient but dead inside, Finding Neverland was shallow ant smarmy, Ray was all about the lead performance, and Sideways, though loved by some, was found by this writer to be misogynistic, slow, and utterly pointless. Million Dollar Baby itself is minor Eastwood. It's not his best effort, but is better than his worst efforts. It's a movie-of-the-week. Watch it, feel sanctimonious, forget it. End of story. My Nominees: 1. Kill Bill 2. Undertow 3. Hotel Rwanda 4. Before Sunset 5. The Incredibles 2003: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Other Nominees: Lost in Translation, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, Mystic River, Seabiscuit I have trouble arguing with this one. As a stand-alone film, The Return of the King is strong, but not strong enough to win over the others. As a piece of a trilogy, and as a cinematic accomplishment, The Return of the King (and, really, The Lord of the Rings) is staggering work that's nearly impossible to ignore. And that's what the Academy did here: the Oscar wasn't for Return of the King. It was for The Lord of the Rings, and it's hard to compete with three films, even if the competition is as fantastic as the other nominees (with the notable exception of Seabiscuit, which made me try to eat my own tongue). My Nominees: 1. Lost in Translation 2. City of God 3. Mystic River 4. 28 Days Later 5. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World 2002: Chicago Other Nominees: Gangs of New York, The Hours, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Pianist How the hell did Chicago walk away with this? I'll be the first to admit that Chicago is entertaining and well-made. But it's little else. There's nothing challenging or new about the film. It makes you smile for a couple of hours, then is promptly forgotten. Admittedly two of the other nominees were uneven efforts (Gangs of New York and The Two Towers), and the other two were too depressing and cerebral for most viewers, but that's no excuse. The Pianist or The Hours would both have made far more deserving winners than Chicago. And I haven't even mentioned all the films that weren't nominated that were better than Chicago. Geez. My Nominees: 1. Y Tu Mama, Tambien 2. Minority Report 3. Adaptation 4. The Hours 5. Hable Con Ella 2001: A Beautiful Mind Other Nominees: Gosford Park, In the Bedroom, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Moulin Rouge! ...I don't even want to talk to the Oscars right now. 2001 was a banner year for cinema, chock full of films that did new, bold things, played with content, form, style, films that revitalized dying genres, films that defied expectations, films with fascinating character studies, intense moments, and all general forms of greatness. And the winner was....A poorly made, slow-paced, shallow-minded biopic that has been seen 1,000 times before. Seriously, I think I saw A Beautiful Mind on Hallmark as a made-for-TV movie before it got a theatrical release. It's just embarrassing. All of the other nominees would have been incomparably better as winners than this perfect storm of idiocy. (Side note, but where the hell was Black Hawk Down when it came to voting time? How did it not make the cut?) My Nominees: 1. Black Hawk Down 2. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 3. Gosford Park 4. Moulin Rouge! 5. Memento 2000: Gladiator Other Nominees: Chocolat, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Erin Brokovich, Traffic Not a strong start to the decade, really. 2000 had some great films. Not many of them can be found in the nominees listed above. Gladiator is large, loud, and well-made. A great film it is not. Though, I understand that, out of the nominees, it was the only plausible winner: Chocolat and Erin Brokovich were flukes, Traffic was too clinical, and The Academy will burn in Hell before they give their top prize to a foreign-language film. But see, the solution to this problem is not to choose the lesser of five evils: it's to nominate the good films in the first place. Oh well. My Nominees: 1. Almost Famous 2. Billy Elliot 3. Requiem For a Dream 4. The Virgin Suicides 5. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon The 2000s: A fantastic decade for films. Not a fantastic decade for Academy Award winners. If I had to list the winners by my preference, it would be as follows: 1. The Departed 2. No Country For Old Men 3. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King 4. Slumdog Millionaire 5. Gladiator 6. Million Dollar Baby 7. Chicago 8. Crash 9. A Beautiful Mind Honestly, only the first two have my first three have my complete approval. The next two are good enough, and then it's all downhill from there. And what's going to join this not-so-awe-inspiring list in March? The Hurt Locker. Please, please let it be The Hurt Locker. Finish the decade with a bang (pun not intended). Or who knows. I have lots of big, 'prestige' films left to see this year. Maybe Avatar. Maybe Up in the Air. Just...something good, OK Academy? What do you think? Am I being too hard on these winners? Are these nine films a collection of cinematic gems that will resonate throughout the ages? Let me know.

Your Slice of Zen for the Day

"I always figured, when I got older, God would sorta come into my life somehow. And he didn't. I don't blame him. If I was him I would have the same opinion of me that he does."